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What is self-esteem?
Back in the 1960's Dr Morris Rosenberg defined self-esteem as 'a positive or negative orientation toward oneself; an overall evaluation of one's worth or value'. There are numerous definitions of self-esteem but this is still one of the most succinct and clear. Other terms that are sometimes used interchangeably with self-esteem are self-worth, self-respect, self-regard and self-confidence.
Self-esteem has sometimes been confused with narcissism. Narcissism literally means 'love of oneself'. Hence, some narcissism is actually an important constituent of self-esteem. It's when narcissism becomes extreme - when the need for admiration and attention is so dominant it's the only way that a person feels good about themselves - that it becomes a problem.
How do I know if I have self-esteem?
When you have a robust self-esteem, you are more likely to feel able to cope with the challenges of life. You may get affected by someone being mean or rude, but you'll bounce back quite quickly and easily. You can make decisions without being overly influenced by what other people think. You don't compare yourself adversely with others. You can have a bad hair day and still enjoy the day. You are able to celebrate your successes, and get over your mistakes. Overall, you trust in who you are.
An analogy
In the 1970's Hasbro toy company brought out a toy called a 'Weeble'. They're still around today, but back then they had a popular slogan 'Weebles wobble but they don't fall down'. These toys always spring to mind when I think about what it's like to have a robust self-esteem - you wobble, but you don't fall down.
Measuring self-esteem
Rosenberg's Self-Esteem Scale (SES), which measures someone's self-esteem through a series of statements, is universally recognised even to this day as a good measure of self-esteem. If you would like a copy of the scale and have it scored with feedback FREE OF CHARGE, please fill in the form below:
How do I improve my self-esteem?
Self-esteem is shaped by our upbringing, our culture, our personality traits and our life experiences. Some people admit to having a low self-esteem for as long as they can remember, whilst others find that it's certain situations or life events that have been a catalyst for a problem with self-esteem.
My approach to improving your self-esteem includes:- exploring your beliefs and values (even if you're not clear on what they are right now)
- working with your 'inner critic' (we all have one!)
- developing communication skills
- overcoming barriers that get in the way
To book your initial appointment, contact Victoria today.